Being 'fat' in Japan

I wasn't always chubby. I put on a bit of weight during my second year of University, and although I wouldn't have described myself as fat, I was aware I'd rounded out a little. I felt a little chubby in France, when my employers where speculating over whether I had lost weight since I got there.
But Japan is a whole different kettle of fish.

In Japan, most people are thin. They're tiny, in fact. That's not to say I don't see chubby or overweight people, but there are a lot less over here. When I went back to England for just under a week, I literally thought to myself "wow. Look at all the fat people". I think England might have a little problem. Back to the matter in hand though.

I am a little chubby, maybe I am even fat, though I didnt think so before. But here, it isnt a secret. It's not a thing your friends don't mention. They love to comment on your weight. Luckily, everyone has been saying I've gotten thinner. Good, I'm on a diet for the first time in my life, but it doesn't seem to be that effective.

My weight is almost like a novelty here. People arent afraid to jiggle my arms. Or my face. Or my stomach. (That last one is pretty much reserved for my boyfriend though). And of course, they are all friends of mine, though sometimes friends I have known for less than a day. They think its kind of fun, how I wobble. I don't. I think it's kind of embarrassing.

I asked my boyfriend one day if he thinks I'm fat. He didn't say anything. That hurts.
Don't get me wrong, my boyfriend is wonderful and he always ensures I know that he likes me the way I am, and I know for a fact he enjoys the fact that he can grab a little bit of my stomach. But he thinks I'm fat, and I think he's the first of my boyfriends to think so (probably because I only just got fat) so it's really easy to get down about it. But that's not the only reason I want to diet. I want to fit into cute Japanese clothes, and I want to feel sexy again.

So now I'm on a diet, and its sad because I'm not enjoying all the foods I should be before I leave for home in two and a bit months. I've been told maybe I should wait until I'm home to diet and just enjoy the food while I'm here, but once I get home I know I'll want to enjoy the food I've missed for the last forever. If I don't start now, when do I start?

Anyway this was all a bit of a pointless ramble, but if you're in Japan and you're feeling a bit podgy, don't worry. You're not alone. As long as you're comfortable with yourself, that's okay. It just gets a little more difficult to do in this country, sometimes ^^;